Adoption Loss is the only trauma in the world where the victims are expected
by the whole of society to be grateful.
Keith C. Griffith
For Adoptees:
It is possible to experience happiness, love and gratitude to your adoptive parents and still have a sense of loss and sadness. You may have conflicting feelings and behaviors that puzzle you.
As an adoptee you have experiences and feelings that are unique to being adopted. You may wonder why you were placed for adoption or if there was something “wrong” with you that caused your birth mother to give you up. Even though your adult mind may know the circumstances and understand them, it’s your heart that still feels the hurt and the loss. It is a painful, primal wound. The loss of your birthparents, set the stage for feelings of loss and abandonment that many adoptees may experience at different times in their lives.
You may have a desire to seek out your birth family but feel you will be disloyal to or hurt your adoptive parents who love and care for you. Not knowing your family history or your birth family may leave you feeling disconnected, isolated, or incomplete. Maybe you struggle with relationships, wanting desperately to be connected and to trust but instead you reject the person in your life before they can reject or abandon you.
· In your heart of hearts do you wonder why you were given up for adoption?
· Is there a part of you that feels lost, incomplete, isolated or alone?
· Do you struggle with power and control or guilt and shame?
· Do you experience unexplained periods of deep sadness or guilt?
· Are you puzzled by some of your behaviors, thoughts or actions?
· Do you ever think about Searching for your birth mother (father, siblings) but worry about what you might find out or how they would answer your questions? Or are you fearful that someday your birth mother may find you?
· Do you want to know your history yet a conflicting sense of loyalty to your adoptive parents keep you from searching?
· Are you considering or in Reunion with anyone in your birth family?
· Do you find yourself looking at people who are around the same age as your birth mother, wondering if she could be your mother?
· Do you feel anger and resentment at the people who played a part in your adoption decision?
· What about your relationships…how have they been affected?
· Are you ashamed that you were adopted or ashamed of your birth family?
· Do you carry feelings of unworthiness? Do those feelings prevent you from having a life that you love, being successful, proud of yourself or having intimate relationships?
· Do you believe you are worthy of a wonderful life, a deserving life, and a life filled with love?
· Are you ready to finally deal with your emotions and your adoption experience?
Your feelings of loss, abandonment and fear that it may happen again can keep you from living the beautiful life you were meant to have. There is an opportunity here for you. An opportunity to step into the pain of separation, to acknowledge the primal wound and to use that pain to develop the acceptance, trust, love and surrender that will help you heal.
There are gifts in that wound – together you and I will uncover them. This is a time of self love, compassion and honoring you - Your Authentic Self. It’s time to allow yourself to heal, and to honor who you are.
This time it’s your choice.
What we’ll look at:
· The story of our adoption/the adoption trauma
· How the meanings we assign to events control our beliefs
· How to uncover who we truly are (our authentic self)
· How to become powerful by being accountable
· How to improve our relationships
· How to live with, take care of yourself and support your child in Search or Reunion
· How to be happy, loving, accepting and embracing all the gifts of adoption
Contact me and we’ll begin the journey of healing, understanding, compassion and reclaiming your true Self. |