“In order for me to have a choice there needed to be at least two options – I had none”
from Know One Will Know, Karen Ciandella
.jpg) About Birthmother/Adoption Coaching
This time you have a choice. You have a choice about how to live your life. You may not have had a choice about your adoption experience – but now you do. If life isn’t working out to be exactly what you want, you can either continue with the way things are and hope it somehow magically gets better or you can choose to do something about it.
Working to move beyond your birthmother or adoption experience heals your heart. By choosing to step out of the shadow of your experience you allow yourself to heal and find the gifts in that experience. To do that you need to start with:
1. Acceptance – Life has been a certain way for you for a long time. The idea that you can feel differently, do things differently, or change the direction of your life may seem overwhelming. That’s why it’s important to accept exactly where you are today. Acceptance is the key to understanding and compassion. Accepting things as they are opens the door to faith and a new future.
2. Willingness – Talking about and relieving the emotions surrounding our adoption experience is not easy. I understand that. I also know that if there is willingness to heal – healing will take place. This coaching will help you open up to new levels of willingness – allowing you to see things from a new perspective. With acceptance and willingness you open yourself to a different vision of yourself and your life.
3. Trust – I know trust (especially when talking about adoption) is an issue for many of us. Yet, with acceptance and willingness you begin to learn to trust yourself, your internal wisdom and the process of healing. As you learn to trust yourself, you begin to make significant changes in your thinking, your beliefs, your habits and your actions. You begin to change how you feel about yourself and your relationships. You open up to a new perspective and possibility of a new way of life.
Birthmother and Adoption Coaching is powerful. It is a program of healing for mothers who lost children to adoption and adoptees separated from their first mother. This 16 week process takes you from grief and loss to hope and possibility – from self sabotage to self mastery. It is a program based in love and yet it is ruthlessly compassionate.
We are going to talk about your birthmother experience or your experience of adoption. It happened – we’re not going to pretend it didn’t happen . If you’re a birthmother – you finally get to grieve, to experience loss and finally move on with your life. If you’re an adoptee we’re going to talk about your loss and your grief, your conflicting feelings about “two” mothers, or the pain of separation from your birth family.
It’s time to look at the impact adoption has on our lives. It’s the only way we will heal our fractured selves.
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